Kissing you, holding you,
With my hands,
Why am I thinking about my hands?
Both of you like hands…
I see a rat, I wonder why a rat
No, you cannot be taken away,
O! It’s only your mother.
A hand reaches for you, taking you over,
Wait! Breathe, Sadiat, breathe…
Huh! You go back to sleep…
Beautiful day,
You ask me to come to my room… your room,
I go to your room,
I am scared of my secrets,
I see your mother, and two little girls,
TWINS… The ugly and the beautiful.
I know one of them is you,
I don’t want both of you to be you.
When I open my eyes,
You are there,
I reach for you.
I SEE your brother calling me
I look back, he tells me that you are waiting for me.
My sister stops me, asks me where I am going.
I say Outremont, you offer me a lift,
I walk down the stairs,
I look out and it’s dark,
Cold and rainy.
I SEE you, my best friend,
You have brought me
Your most valuable possession,
That you leave… set it up for me.
You cannot… Do not worry,
I shall help you
Because you have helped me,
Bringing the beats to my new-born rhyme.
Oh no! Your brother,
I have lost him,
I head for outside
In the rain,
I am starting to like it, I love rain.
Naked Women! Prostitutes
Surrounding me, trying to lure me
Into their trap.
I cry for mercy, I beg for help,
I reach for my cell.
They are not there, anymore.
On the other side of the street,
Dancing naked under the rain
Coming from the very red sky…
I know there are no leaves in the trees…
Why are they green?
I can feel every drop of rain,
I wonder why…
I see your brother,
We are late,
I know that there is someone else I know
Amongst the ones who are devouring the show,
I look down and see a cripple.
Black Man! I look
At your brother
I see a 12 year old in glasses
I look into your eyes
I see you asking me to
Start walking… to you.
Grabs my hands,
He asks me,
Three of us are walking,
I answer, ‘your brother, my best friend’s brother
‘He is just a phony,
‘No I am not giving the walking cripple 3 lac dollars,
‘I cannot save you this time…
I walk away,
Being selfish for the first time,
At least I have saved my life…
No worries… I am coming to you,
Happiness, love
Hold you.
Right hand jab!
Kick on the left knee!
I fall, panting…
I need to breathe…
His left hand above the only place
Where I am missing air.
Panting, missing air.
“no, don’t kill me, no, no, no”
Left hand jab! On your face,
Breathe, Sadiat, Breathe,
Wake up, air, air, air, air, air…
Written in the year 2002